Like many of you, I sell things on EBay from time to time. For the last couple of days, I've had quite a lot of unintentional fun with something I listed. I sold a portable radio, the kind they use in ambulances. I admittedly know nothing about the specifics of the radio, so I clearly wrote in the auction "I'm not familiar with all of the details on the radio, frequencies, etc..." and included several pictures of the radio and the settings and frequency ranges, so people who knew more about it could examine it and see if it was what they were looking for.
Apparently, I got a winning bidder who couldn't read so well. It starts with this.
NoGED81: I want my monet back! this radio does not work . had promgamed does not talk to my radios
Not sure what he's asking, or why it's my fault. Or worse yet, why he wants his "Monet" back. I didn't even know he had sent me art. Time for a polite, businesslike response.
Me: I don't understand what you're saying. You're saying the radio works and you programmed it, but it doesn't talk to your other radios? Please explain, sorry for any inconvenience.
Next thing I know, I get an email from a strange address.
TrayLRPRK69: This radio has the wrong bandsplit for our other radios. As far as I can tell, it transmits, but it will not work with our system.
Weird. Suddenly I'm talking to two people. Rather than I assume, or make the obvious gay joke about his "partner", I clarify.
Me: Are you also "TrayLRPRK69"? I got a message tonight from someone with that name that I have had no contact with on ebay. Is that you?
I was correct, which leads to another rash of misspellings.
NoGED81: yes ,i was useing my partner computer,not sure why it sent his name , im not happy with this radio.what are u willing to do ? (email addy & phone number included)
Understood. Too bad, however. What am I willing to do? I'm willing to explain at great length how any simpleton should have been able to see what he was buying.
Me: Sorry for any inconvenience, but there's nothing I can do. You purchased a radio, and I sold you a working radio. I was clear in the item description that I knew nothing about the frequencies, and I included a picture of the back of the radio so people could look up the unit if they wanted more information. I sold you a working radio, and I'm sorry if it doesn't correspond with other radios you're currently using. However, my description of the item was correct and the item is in working condition.
Well, logic is exhausted. Next up on the gameplan of the truly desperate is threats.
NoGED81: you did not say 880-h-3. and i think you knew so i will be giving bad feed back ! and then i will sell it back on ebay letting people know who ,where i got this radio from snowfire51,thanks alot.
Yep, he's losing it. Still, time for a polite response. Businesslike, but not wavering.
Me: Sorry again for your inconvenience, but all I can do is make out an accurate auction description and include pictures. I included the picture of the back of the item, which clearly marks this unit as a TK-880H-3. I was up front about the fact I didn't know much about the frequencies of the radio, that's why I included everything about it in the description and pictures. I'm not sure why you're angry at me for selling you a working radio that was exactly as I described it.
And anger soon turns to incoherence.
NoGED81: You did not say it was 880h-3 you knew.thats why you put it in a picture! I put it back on e bay as a 880h-3 will see what it sells for then ill give your feed back letting all know . we dont you on ebay you give it a bad name !
Okay, at this point, I'm through apologizing. I'm sure I'm going to get a negative feedback from this guy, so it's time to get my money's worth.
Me: "Q: You did not say it was 880h-3 you knew.thats why you put it in a picture!"
Enlighten me, here. So I sold you a perfectly functional radio, with full information and extra pictures, and I'm to blame because you didn't actually look at the item?
"I put it back on e bay as a 880h-3 will see what it sells for then ill give your feed back letting all know ."
Not sure what you're saying here, but I listed an item with accurate description and pictures, sold it to you, and shipped it in a very timely manner. I've done nothing wrong, and see no reason for negative feedback.
"--we dont you on ebay you give it a bad name !"
No idea what that means. There don't seem to be enough words in that sentence.
I have 674 positive feedbacks on completed transactions over the past eight years. I stand by my record.
So, the gloves are off.
NoGED81: accurate description and you left out that it was h-3 .god takes care people like you . sleep good .
Now that was a hard left turn, eh? I sell this guy a working radio, and he's calling down the wrath of the Holy Spirit on me.
Me: "accurate description and you left out that it was h-3 ."
What part of "I'm not familiar with all of the details on the radio, frequencies, etc..." did you not understand? Was it the same part where you didn't bother to look at the extra pictures I posted so my bidders could examine the radio and tell for themselves if it was the model they wanted?
"god takes care people like you ."
No, God takes care of people who can read, and look at pictures. The rest of you are on your own.
"--sleep good ."
Sleep well.
At this point, he may be having trouble reading the emails.
NoGED81: "DECEPTIVE"
Brevity is the soul of wit, especially if you only comprehend a few words.
Me: How is me entering the description of the item including pictures that told you EXACTLY the information you're saying I withheld being deceptive? It's not like I typed it in Spanish, or showed blurry pictures.
We're rolling now, aren't we?
NoGED81: "DID YOU LEAVE OUT THAT IT WAS -3"
Just keep banging on that drum, Chester.
Me: To begin with, congratulations on finding that Caps Lock button. That makes the misspellings and lack of punctuation much easier to deal with, thanks.
I think the question here is, did you even bother to look at the pictures, read the description, or look at anything other than the word "radio" on the auction? Did you ever use the "PgDn" button? Have you ever? It's a nifty little invention, saves a lot of time, there might be more pictures or information down there that could be relevant, especially since the auction plainly states that I don't know much about the radio's frequencies.
While you're there, you could also hit the Print button and shoot off a copy of the pictures I took for you, and take it to the labs to have somebody decipher that oh-so-cryptic TK-880H-3 written plainly on the back of the radio that you say doesn't exist. It's not exactly the Dead Sea Scrolls. It's pretty clear right there in the top right corner of the unit.
See? Pictures just aren't pretty. Sometimes they show us things, too.
Back to the Big Lie Theory. Repeat.
NoGED81: "Description Kenwood TK-880H UHF Two-Way Mobile Radio this is a paste copy of your e-bay read it"
He's out of words, apparently.
Me: Good point, why actually answer a question or think for yourself when you can cut and paste?
That was my description, yes. How can you say that's a deception when that's exactly what it said on the back of the radio, and I told you I didn't know much about the radio or its frequencies?
I don't have to read it. I wrote it. I used punctuation, and capitalization, and everything. Not that that's a hint or anything.
So what you're saying is all you read from this auction was the title, and bought the auction without even looking up any pertinent information? I went to a lot of work writing that out and taking the pictures, you know. From what you're telling me, I might as well have posted pictures of crop circles or dogs playing poker, because you weren't going to bother looking at them anyway.
If I sold you a Mustang, and told you I didn't know much about cars, would you bother looking at it before you buy it, or would you just assume it was the exact year and model you were looking for? Would you bother to look at the pictures to make sure you weren't buying a billygoat, perhaps?
And that's where it's ended so far. I've had 674 good ebay experiences and four bad ones, hopefully this one will be the most enjoyable bad one for a while. I'm sure I'll get bad feedback out of this one, but I've got five American "dolars" that says there's at least one misspelling in it.
Most of my sports blogging is done over at my other site, Reid Kerr's Fistful of Sports, but the whole Michael Vick/dog fighting ring thing is so bothersome, I thought I'd share here, too.
Now, after all the trouble that Atlanta quarterback Vick has gone to to thoroughly self-destruct his career (dog fighting, drugs, public herpes), leave it to Clinton Portis to throw a monkey wrench in it.
"I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog," Redskins running back Portis said. "If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business."
Thanks for making a relevant point, CP. People should stick to their own houses, and leave felony criminals alone. Rapists, murders, arms dealers, all of whom should be left to their own devices in Clinton Portis's America.
Redskins offensive lineman Chris Samuels wisely said "You can't accuse this man of something and go ahead and throw the book at him right now. He's got to be convicted first, and I don't think that's fair."
That's completely true. Vick hasn't been proven guilty of anything yet. However, Portis has gone the extra mile to let us know he's proud of his roots as a animal cruelty-loving fucktard.
News from Dallas, at one of the high schools a teacher has been arrested for having sex with a student.
Here's my favorite part.
Byron Eugene Coyle, 26, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of having an improper relationship with a 17-year-old female student. A state law passed in 2003 criminalizes sexual relationships between teachers and students even if the student has reached the state's consensual age of 17 and agrees to the relationship.
What the Hell kind of state do I live in where we had to make another, separate rule just to make sure it was never okay for teachers to sleep with students?
Administrator: "Part of your job as a teacher, the trusted guardian of our children and protectors of the future, is that you can't have sex with your students." Teacher: "Our students?" A: "Any students." T: "Gotcha. But we can have sex with them if they're seventeen or over, right? That's legal consent age, so that's cool." A: "No." T: "What if, she's like, really hot and she looks way older than that. Like, old enough to go get beer without getting carded?" A: "No." T: "Damn. Good thing I get the summers off, or this job would really suck." A: "Thanks, coach."
This is the part of the high school experience they never seem to get right in the movies.
I saw "Spider-Man 3" on Monday. Spoiler space below, while I rant about other things. Bear in mind here I grew up (and still am) a comic book geek, and I firmly believe everythiung I needed to learn in my life, I learned from my dad and Spider-Man.
((spoiler space))
In SM3, I thought Bryce Dallas Howard was very good as Gwen Stacy, and very hot. Since she hasn't been hot in any of her other movies, this leads me to wonder if I have a thing for Gwen Stacy, and not Howard. That may be the height of comic book geekery, eh?
(spoiler space))
They did such a poor job of explaining the Venom character, I began to wonder if his origin was classified under the Patriot Act.
(spoiler space))
At one point, Peter Parker starts acting like a bad guy, wearing his hair down over his eyes and dressing in black. Rather than marking a big character change for Parker, it just made me wonder what Jared Leto's been doing lately.
(spoiler space))
There was a trailer for "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" on the movie, and I felt a rush of excitement and awe at the thought of finally seeing that story on the big screen. Then I realized that was the same way I felt before the first FF movie came out, which was so bad it made me feel dirty for having wasted time I could have spent flossing my toes, or some other more-worthy endeavor.
(spoiler space))
Okay, now my big beef.
They've retroactively changed Spider-Man's origin, in the interest of making a villain more interesting. One of the biggest parts of Spider-Man's origin is the burglar. Quick summary: Spidey gets his powers, and is on his way to being a TV star when a burglar runs past him and Spidey doesn't stop him. Later on, the burglar kills his Uncle Ben, thus teaching Peter Parker the lesson "with great power comes great responsibility."
Now in the third movie, it's revealed the Sandman (Flint Marko) was working with the original burglar and Marko's the guy who killed Peter Parker's Uncle Ben, and Spidey comes after him in revenge. Come to find out later, Sandman admits he killed Ben, but it was only an accident while he was trying to get money to treat his daughter, who was ill with one of those ultra-sad movie diseases that only affects pretty little girls with quasi-criminal fathers.
At the end of the movie, Spider-Man forgives Sandman, who turns to sand and blows away on the winds of forgiveness. Over the course of the previous two cinematic hours, Sandman probably crippled fifty cops and destroyed millions of dollars of the city, but what the heck! Let him blow away in the name of a good brainless ending, that's not even my point.
So let's sum up. Once upon a time, Spider-Man didn't help out, and it cost him the life of his surrogate father. Because of that, he becomes a super-hero. Except now, Uncle Ben wasn't killed by the guy he let pass. Ben would have been murdered, no matter what Parker did to the burglar.
Heroes are supposed to be born from adversity. Superman's an orphan whose entire planet died. Batman's parents were murdered before his eyes. Captain America and Iron Man were both created from murder. The X-Men are freaks.
With great power comes great responsibility? Nope. With great power comes the inability to save the ones you love. This way, the death of Spider-Man's most-loved relative could have happened through a gardening accident, or a vicious paper-cut, and it wouldn't have made any difference.
I think there should be new movie ratings. The old ones don't do enough to adequately describe what we're seeing anymore. For example, for horror movies: "S : This film has been rated Shit. It's not suitable for anybody, except for punk kids sneaking in to the theatre to see gore and boobies. Just download it, you little cyber-savant perverts."
"Saving Private Ryan" was on the other night, and I almost stumbled into it. I had to change the channel before I got too engrossed in it, and had to spend the whole night watching it. It's a great movie, but it's just too draining to watch if I'm not ready for it. I have "Post-Saving-Private-Ryan-Stress-Disorder."
It has come to my attention that everytime I mention Jenna Jameson, I get hits on the website like I've just discovered a cure for gingivitis. So there you go.
Owens sausage has a flavor designated "Extra Mild." What the Hell is that? Is it super-average? Is it extra-medium? Does it have that certain lack of taste that mild foods have, except an exciting amont of it?
I think a great ringtone would be of a howling beagle. I'll bet it would make you answer your phone in a hurry. Sure seems to wake up the neighbors at six in the morning.
XM Radio has something called "The Playboy Channel." I've never heard it, but it doesn't make sense to me. To begin with, how sexy can radio be? And if it is, is this supposed to be the audio form of Playboy Magazine? Do they really want me driving around masturbating, and then falling asleep on the turnpike?
Richard Gere is in trouble for kissing a woman during an awards ceremony in India. Who would have ever thought the most controversial kiss of Richard Gere's private life would be with a woman? The oddsmakers take a beating again.
Finally, Nicolas Cage has a movie out where he can see into the future, and uses this power to fight crime. I guess Cage has earned enough awards that he can choose to only play super-heroes for the rest of his life. According to IMDB, Cage has five movies to be released this year, and five scheduled for next year. Here's a quick memo for Cage's managers. He doesn't have to do every script that makes its way to him. I get the feeling you could see Nicolas Cage picking up his dry cleaning and slip him a script, and six months later he'd be starring in your semi-autobiographical treatment about a rogueish Subway Sandwich Artist who fights crime.
In honor of Memorial Day, Americans everywhere take a moment to remember the men and women who have given their lives for the country.
