tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-147417612010-03-10T13:08:41.915-06:00Modern humor and pop culture, served with razor-sharp sarcasm.Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.comBlogger634125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-510946221740173012010-03-09T22:31:00.003-06:002010-03-09T23:43:45.377-06:00

It's census time in the grand ol' USA. Every ten years, the government takes a head count, and everybody hates it.It's always amused me how people resist telling the government anything, like the fact that they have two kids is something that could be used against them by the sinister G-men. These are the same people who'll use their Facebook accounts to announce things like their separation from

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-8346844492729008702010-03-09T09:22:00.001-06:002010-03-09T23:42:33.836-06:00

Like many of you, I enjoy television. I spend a lot of my life camped out in front of the tube, enjoying what I consider to be the new Golden Age of TV.By the way, I'm well aware there are no longer any "tubes" in a television. "Camped out in front of the plasma" doesn't have that same romantic tone.Technically speaking, I have a metric crapload of channels to watch. For what I pay for television

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-65420922407895587472010-03-08T14:09:00.000-06:002010-03-08T14:10:10.092-06:00

I live-blogged the Oscars last night through Facebook. We had some great interaction, here's the highlights from the big show.8:00 (Central Time) - I'm watching the Oscars, even though I haven't seen any of the movies up for awards. In fact, I'm not even sure what movies I saw in the theater in 2009. Is "Wolverine" up for anything?8:15 - This Kathy-Ireland-Bot they have interviewing people at the

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-85778325730553716432010-03-04T08:30:00.001-06:002010-03-04T08:30:01.349-06:00

The Blockbuster near my house is going out of business. I know that's not really cause for alarm anymore, as that industry is taking a big hit.These days, walking around a video store is a quaint little throwback to the bygone days of a few years ago. It's like you're transported back in time to a Starbucks, or you're listening to a James Blunt song or something. It's all 2005 in there.Anyway, I

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-65686424498158584192010-03-02T07:20:00.000-06:002010-03-02T07:20:00.228-06:00

The Vancouver Olympics have finally ended, bringing us tears, joy, and a giant beaver.Yeah, there's always that.Anyway, while we return to our regularly scheduled television viewing, one thing stands out about this year's games. There's one number that shines past Canada's 14 gold medals, or the USA's 37 medals, or even the 190 million viewers NBC pulled in.Vancouver gave out 100,000 condoms to

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-69626695092653919872010-02-08T00:19:00.004-06:002010-02-08T00:29:49.249-06:00

Why is it the Super Bowl is the only event allowed to use Roman numerals?In any case, my chock-ful-o'-sarcasm Super Bowl XLIV Timeline is now up, with entries like...5:20pm - Carrie Underwood performs the National Anthem, clad in white stripper heels and an outfit that can only be described as "Naughty Ice Cream Truck Driver."5:38pm - Peyton Manning throws to Pierre Garcon, which prior to this

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-33958127230491992212010-02-04T00:44:00.000-06:002010-02-04T01:12:32.001-06:00

Honest question. When you think of a bad example of an artform, who comes to mind? We used to have universal high/low points of suckage ("Ishtar", "Heaven's Gate", "My Mother the Car", The Starland Vocal Band). What are they now?Quick examples. When I think of "not funny," Jimmy Fallon jumps to mind. With the exception of SNL's "Barry Gibb Show" and his early musical appearances, I've never found

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-11451865278276903992010-02-01T09:59:00.001-06:002010-02-01T09:59:00.298-06:00

I live-blogged the Grammy Awards last night through Facebook. We had some great interaction for the entire 3.5 hours, here's the highlights from the big show.7:00 (Central Time) - The Grammies confuse me. It's great that Lady Gaga and Elton John play the opener together. However, I don't understand why they had to make them up like they had just been pulled out of a collapsed coal mine, and cover

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-68172269155288320732010-01-27T09:14:00.002-06:002010-01-27T09:14:00.394-06:00

CAVE CITY, TN -- I like a motel without delusions of grandeur. How many stars? Five? Four? Nope. Set your sights a bit lower.I think a single star will be plenty. No need to spend more than twelve bucks on room and board. Those extra stars cost money, you know. Just take a room at the Star Motel, lay back, and shut up.Enjoy our unheated showers, the black-and-white TVs, and the incontinent-al

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-36052898592934687372010-01-14T23:44:00.004-06:002010-01-14T23:49:12.737-06:00

Over the last year, I've discovered something. Dante's Divine Comedy? Not very funny. Looking back on what passed for comedy back then, that book really could have used a wacky sidekick for comic relief.You know, let Dante explore the afterlife with Urkel, or something. Anything to break it up. Actually, if he wrote it now, he'd probably have extra characters just so they could sell action

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-81438573905907647652010-01-08T21:58:00.002-06:002010-01-08T22:18:44.576-06:00

Today is the 75th anniversary of the birth of Elvis Presley. That means if Elvis hadn't died in 1977...he'd still be dead today.Let's face it, the man wasn't exactly the picture of health. Even if he'd faled his death back during the Carter administration, he was living on bennies and fried sandwiches. His odds of making it another thirty-two years, even with Sonny and Red watching out for him?

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-10209008421605958442010-01-07T13:32:00.002-06:002010-01-07T13:44:25.759-06:00

If you haven't seen it yet, here for your uncomfortable amusement is Mariah Carey's so-out-of-it-she's-got-to-be-drunk acceptance speech at the Palm Beach International Film Festival.Generally speaking, your acceptance speech for an award shouldn't be longer than your role in the movie. However, Mariah makes it work. She's got the full array of drunken behavior here, the "I love you," the

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-6327778013193942442010-01-04T01:54:00.000-06:002010-01-04T01:54:00.266-06:00

Saw this at Wal-Mart tonight. I didn't even know you could buy safety orange shirts and bright yellow dayglo vests. I thought they issued them to you when the warden unhooked your ankle cuffs and put you to work on the chain gang.Are you supposed to buy your own safety gear to work on the side of the road? And if not, who's buying these things? Kids already take great joy in dressing like

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-50205668005639615742009-12-31T23:29:00.002-06:002010-01-01T00:00:52.519-06:00

Happy New Year to all. It's been a pretty draining couple of days, and I'm currently stranded for New Year's Eve with my beloved family. As usual when I'm back in this enviroment, I get pretty introspective.To be honest, 2009 was a pretty awful year in many ways, but it's ended very well for me. I have a great marriage, a beautiful daughter, and a new job I love. I've got people around me that

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-41443922107380577232009-12-26T00:16:00.000-06:002009-12-26T11:45:44.671-06:00

Hope everyone has had a Merry Christmas by now, and I wish you many happy, easy returns. A few days before Christmas, I went to Wal-Mart for a couple of things and found both some gift ideas and some questionably comedic fashion. It was well worth the trip.This t-shirt was on a rack at the front of the store, emblazoned with the slogan "If You're Naughty, I Won't Tell Santa." However, take a good

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-84090792847989461642009-12-24T17:43:00.002-06:002009-12-24T18:02:46.469-06:00

It's snowing in East Texas. My favorite part of the day has been watching the little emo kids shivering and running from the snow. They're all hair dye and skinny jeans, and have no fat to give them resistance to the cold. All they do is smoke and mope. They're just not ready for a challenge in the temperature.

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-1163997599635230722009-12-24T05:37:00.001-06:002009-12-24T17:12:50.878-06:00

Hope all is well with you! Merry Christmas from our family to yours!Chaddrick finally got his promotion this year! After starting off ten long years ago as a mailroom intern, Chaddrick has worked his way up to mailroom co-supervisor! We're all proud of him, and the extra money he brings home is plenty enough to finally let him stop selling blood three times a week. With his promotion, I was able

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-13079615165755473242009-12-23T01:09:00.000-06:002009-12-23T13:19:18.690-06:00

You know which Christmas carol really bothers me? "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". Think of it, it's the rudest, pushiest carol ever. Examine the second verse.Now bring us some figgy puddingNow bring us some figgy puddingNow bring us some figgy puddingScrew you, random carolers. Who are you to be making dietary demands of me? And to then threaten me, as heard in the third verse?We won't go until

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-21101251082730462902009-12-22T02:10:00.000-06:002009-12-23T13:18:49.357-06:00

I'm a buffoon. A cretin. I freely admit it. I try to have a modicum of culture, but there are somethings that just don't register with me.I just don't get the ballet.I went to a junior college production of "The Nutcracker" this weekend. I try and get all of my culture in small doses, by the way. I'm also going to attend a high school one act play rendition of "Rent", and my Kiwanis Club version

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-19081899436967805522009-12-21T02:11:00.000-06:002009-12-21T14:59:47.042-06:00

It seems that these days some people get upset when you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." Because, you know, that's what Jesus would have done.I'll admit it. I usually say "Happy Holidays" for a variety of reasons.I say "Happy Holidays" because I'm lazy, and I don't want to have to remember to switch to the next holiday.I say "Happy Holidays" because I don't really mean it, and I

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-4163285400727370072009-12-16T14:36:00.002-06:002009-12-16T14:51:20.892-06:00

South Florida football coach Jim Leavitt is under fire for rumors he grabbed one of his players by the throat and struck him during halftime of a recent game.Weird, you play football and you hit somebody, you're in trouble. You're Joe Jackson and you beat your kids, they call you the best musical manager ever, and they put all of you in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-23855266047366228342009-12-10T08:07:00.000-06:002009-12-10T08:07:00.428-06:00

Apparently, there's some kind of turf war going on between AT&T and Verizon. Something about maps, and coverage, and signals, and reindeer, and whatnot.Have you seen the new series of commercials for AT&T, you know, the ones with Luke "The Not Quite As Funny Looking One" Wilson? He's got a stack of postcards, and he's reading a list of places where they've got coverage."Dallas, Texas...Phoenix,

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-33362358588778704342009-12-09T08:45:00.000-06:002009-12-09T08:45:00.756-06:00

Gatorade has now pulled out of the Tiger Woods business, cancelling their endorsement with the golfer after Tiger experienced the worst week of publicity ever.However, Gatorade said they were already planning on getting out of their deal with Tiger Woods anyway, and it had nothing to do with the revelations that Tiger's been sticking it to every Cracker Barrel hostess in every town with a

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-31758105616570546002009-11-27T15:45:00.005-06:002009-11-27T16:15:15.915-06:00

My wife and I foolishly woke up early the day after Thanksgiving and thought we'd check out some of the sales. We left the house about 4:30, headed to the area of town where we could check out our Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and those kinds of stores.Ha-HA! What foolish, misguided, yuletime schleps we were. We arrived in time to park out by the highway and run to get in line behind the other

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14741761.post-48777340519186337472009-11-20T09:10:00.000-06:002009-11-20T09:10:00.244-06:00

A truly jarring special at a local restaurant.Before I'd order that, I'd have to ask "Just how much of the 'New Kids' is in these hot dogs?"It's not like I haven't advocated taking Donnie Wahlberg and his mates and grinding them up for Soylent Green before, it's just a little jarring to see it all written out like that.

Reidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07055399941337038633noreply@blogger.com1