Reid About It

CAVE CITY, TN -- I like a motel without delusions of grandeur.

How many stars? Five? Four? Nope. Set your sights a bit lower.

I think a single star will be plenty. No need to spend more than twelve bucks on room and board. Those extra stars cost money, you know. Just take a room at the Star Motel, lay back, and shut up.

Enjoy our unheated showers, the black-and-white TVs, and the incontinent-al breakfast.

Nothing's too good for you, and that's just what you get at the Star Motel!

Today is the 75th anniversary of the birth of Elvis Presley. That means if Elvis hadn't died in 1977...he'd still be dead today.

Let's face it, the man wasn't exactly the picture of health. Even if he'd faled his death back during the Carter administration, he was living on bennies and fried sandwiches. His odds of making it another thirty-two years, even with Sonny and Red watching out for him? Not so good.

If you haven't seen it yet, here for your uncomfortable amusement is Mariah Carey's so-out-of-it-she's-got-to-be-drunk acceptance speech at the Palm Beach International Film Festival.



Generally speaking, your acceptance speech for an award shouldn't be longer than your role in the movie. However, Mariah makes it work. She's got the full array of drunken behavior here, the "I love you," the stuttering, the long pauses while she tries to focus, the blurry eyes. She's right there at the level of intoxication where your next step is either to vomit, or try and kiss Suzy Kolber.

This is one of those moments when you're expecting the orchestra to play her off, or the Sandman to come out with his cane, or a power outage, or anything else to save her. Nope. Not at Palm Springs, baby, where uncomfortable moments are the name of the game.

Saw this at Wal-Mart tonight. I didn't even know you could buy safety orange shirts and bright yellow dayglo vests. I thought they issued them to you when the warden unhooked your ankle cuffs and put you to work on the chain gang.

Are you supposed to buy your own safety gear to work on the side of the road? And if not, who's buying these things? Kids already take great joy in dressing like vampires and whores, is the next big thing just getting decked out like a celebrity forced into public service?

On second thought, I might have something there.