Reid About It

As my regular readers know, one of my guilty pleasures was the VH1 dating show "Rock of Love," which featured Poison singer Bret Michaels searching for true love in a house full of women. And by "women," I mean strippers. Between Michaels never-ending search for love and his remarkable array of methods to disguise his receding hairline, I was hooked.

Okay, it wasn't exactly Masterpiece Theatre, but it sure was entertaining. For those of you scoring at home with reality shows, I stuck with "Rock of Love" and "Gene Simmons Family Jewels," and quickly abandoned "The Two Coreys" and "Scott Baio is Old and Unloved." I guess I can afford to be choosy, since we're at the point of nostalgia overflow.

Anyway, news is coming out now that the man who owns the mansion where the show was filmed says they trashed his house.

To start with, I hope it's not too much of a surprise that the mansion didn't actually belong to Bret Michaels. I'm sure Michaels has a nice house of his own, but not a mansion. His house probably can only hold ten strippers, or twelve if they come pre-greased.

The owner is claiming the show caused $380,000 in damage to his house. What was he expecting? When you turn your home over to a rock singer and 25 strippers, then open the bar, you're certainly not expecting to come back and find they've shampooed the carpet on their way out.

He complained about "finding holes in the walls and ceilings." Well, those stripper poles don't just clip on, Chester. If the girls are going to swing from them, they have to be bolted down. He also said the grass and plants were dead, I can only assume they choked under the weight of a thousand spilled drinks and cigarette butts.

Seriously, what was he hoping for? You lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas. You turn your house into a barracks for strippers, you wind up with collateral damage. It's just how the world works.