Reid About It

We start with the preps for Bree's wedding. She's making the bridesmaids wear a shade of pistachio green. The girls can complain about the dresses, but not the bride's choice of grooms.

Carlos is amazed that Gaby wants a lot of stuff in the divorce. At this point, that's being surprised that Susan tripped over something.

Babymomma is dating a tattooed biker guy. Can Tom express his concern about his daughter's mom's boyfriend without Lynette being upset? I'm going to say a great big "no" on that one.

Susan is out with the Great Brit. He spoils her with an expensive meal, and then meets the parents of his coma wife. He introduces Susan as a brain surgeon, so you know this won't end well.

Bree and Orson dance, a subtle dance of danger. Then Ernie "The Black GhostBuster" Hudson unearths Orson's dead wife, without her teeth. Well, that suddenly looks obviously bad.

Lynette bonds with Babymomma, over Babymomma's horrible choice of men. Perhaps they could hook her up with Bree, since they both ain't too good at picking partners.

Edie finds a guy breaking into her house, luckily an underage relative. This guy is such an obvious attempt to make a new heartthrob, I consider him an homage to Aaron Spelling. Julie drools over him, then tells him he's not hot. Since his lines in the script are simply marked "Hot Guy," I think she's bluffing.

Susan sees Orson upset at tin cans, and tracks down his old neighbor to ask about him. Her proof is that his house was clean after his wife died. That either makes him a murderer, or perfect for Bree. Or both.

The girls try and keep Bree from marrying Orson. To convince here, perhaps they should show her slides of her last two year's worth of mates. At the altar, Bree takes a time out and asks her fiance if he killed his first wife. Whatever the answer is, I think bringing up the question should be sufficient to pause the festivities.

Bree gets married anyway. Lynette's Babymomma can't get laid at the reception. Carlos can't get laid from his wife. They wind up together in a rare romantic pentagon. The Great Brit shows up, indicating again to Susan what a horrible liar he is. He stands up to make a toast, letting Bree and Orson make a joke that's at least 200 years old.

Everybody's happy, until The Black GhostBuster shows up to come get the groom.

Xiao-Mei gives birth to a child that is obviously not Gaby and Carlos'. Nice swerve.

Orson shows up at the morgue to identify a body, still dressed in a tuxedo. If I had a dollar for every time that happened to me, I could just blog for a living. The body isn't his first wife, so the heat appears to be off of him. Until he does something stupid on the way out, that is.

The moral to our story tonight is that no one is ever happy, and there is no perfect marriage. Lynette is upset Tom has another child, Gaby and Carlos are getting divorced after their mutual infidelities, Bree and Orson had to identify a dead body in their wedding reception, and Susan is only happy when she's dancing with somebody else's husband. Many more of these uplifting messages and we may all kill ourselves.