Reid About It

The recap reminds us of certain things from last season we'll need to know. Note that Alfre Woodard's family and aborted major plotline does not appear.

Man, Kyle MacLachlan being in a show just ratchets up the creepy level by a factor of a thousand. If his parrot is to be believed, he killed his previous wife. And the bird.

We get the rundown again, with everybody's highlights from last season brought up to date. Nicollete Sheridan's Edie is out in the rain, in spite of the fact that she doesn't look like she should be hanging out in the rain. No telling what water would do to that space-age polymer that Sheridan's made of.

Lynette and Tom begin their struggles with the baby momma. This plotline is a bit obvious, hopefully they'll swerve us with it.

Gaby threatens Xiao-Mei with deporting her after the baby is born. Judging from the small amount of information I have about Mother's rights, I don't think that's a good idea.

Mike is now in a coma, and Susan is shaving his face, leaving cuts and nicks everywhere. I'd think a hospital that's had to treat her for several dangerous clumsiness-related injuries would want to keep the sharp objects away from her.

And finishing the round-up, Bree agrees to marry Orson. Let's see, in just over two years, she's chosen as her romantic partners a guy who paid a prostitute to beat him, a psychopathic murdering momma's boy pharmacist, a guy who screwed her son, and a crazy prison dentist. That's not exactly a list submitted for Emmy consideration.

Susan gets hit on by a British guy in the hospital with his wife in a coma. Then, she spills a Smoothie on his nearly-dead wife. Nice to see they're evolving her character.

Lynette's party spills over into the street as Edie is showing a house. Her clients say they're looking for somewhere "quiet." Not to make too much of this, but somewhere around a dozen people have died on that street in two years. Yard men, hit men, housewives, pharmacists, everybody dies on Wysteria Lane. Might want to go somewhere else for your retirement years.

Babymomma gets crazy at missing a party. Tom smoothes it over by ticking off Lynette. This has the possibility of getting really tedious if it lasts much longer. Like another week.

Xiao-Mei has flown the coop, and Gaby has to get her back. Edie is going to have trouble selling that house. And if she's finally selling Paul's house, does that mean the Mary Alice plotline is finally over? And if so, why does she still narrate the show?

Susan is asking a coma-patient-Mike if she could go out with somebody else while he's unconscious. Strangely enough, he doesn't answer.

Bree is heavily turned on by hygiene, which leads to her getting an orgasm for the first time. Is that the thing that finally changes something about her character, which hasn't really moved since her first appearance? At her dinner party, Roseanne's sister shows up to play the role of Gladys Kravitz. She gives the warning that nobody will listen to until it's too late. Nosey neighbors on this show are too common to stand out.

And we close on yet another dead body being dug up somewhere. In season one, it was in a lake. In season two, it was the guy in the basement. Now, it's in a golf course. There's your official sense of foreboding for the rest of the year.