Reid About It

With the Presidential election coming up today, I was a bit confused as to who to vote for. Luckily, last week on Saturday Night Live, Coldplay's Chris Whozits yelled "Barack Obama" into his mike at the end of their song.

I was torn between the candidates, but that pushed me over the edge. The mere mention of his name in a unexpected, blurted rush was enough to make my decision. So what if the guy is British, and named his kid "Apple," or "Papaya," or "Fruitcup" or something like that? He obviously knows what he's doing, even if he doesn't get to vote.

Anyway, I certainly have no problem with people who support one candidate or the other. It always amuses me when people complain because entertainers express their views.

This assumption that people who entertain us for a living shouldn't express their opinions is a bit goofy. We're all supposed to be politically active, right? People love to put up yard signs, and bumper stickers, and send me political "flair" on Facebook.

By the way, to those of you sending me a campaign button on Facebook, there's no better way to remind me that although we may have gone to school together, we do not and have never had much in common.

Why shouldn't entertainers have the same ability to publicly address the issues as everyone else? Should we solely rely on political commentators? Please. Here's a newsflash, Limbaugh, Hannity, and Olbermann are not political commentators, folks. They're just entertainers who only work one side of the room. No matter how right you may think their opinions are, if they didn't draw ratings and sponsors, they'd be off the air faster than "The Ex List."

Besides, if they're such great Americans, why are they spending all of their time complaining about what's wrong with the country and not running for office to actually change it?

Anyway, it doesn't bother me. People speaking out for change even though it might be unpopular is a long tradition that stretches back to Muhammad Ali, Bob Dylan, and Jesus Christ. If Bruce Springsteen or Hank Williams Jr. wants to put up a yard sign, more power to them. If I disagree, I'll just listen to the songs and not the conversation.

I enjoy being entertained. I don't look at entertainers and automatically assume they think like I do, and agree with me on everything.

Matthew McConaughey looks like he doesn't do anything but smoke weed and do ab crunches. I doubt we have anything in common if we were to sit down, take off our shirts, and discuss the issues.

As for my beliefs, I don't talk politics here because this is primarily a humor site. If you need me to tell you what to do, you're already too seriously fucked up for me to help.

My futile hope is that after the election, things will calm down. I beg of you, whatever your political affiliation, whoever the winner is, throw your support behind that person come Wednesday morning. If your candidate lost and you can't help being bitter, shut the Hell up. Don't deny candy to kids who support Obama . Don't mail dogcrap to McCain supporters.

Remember, it's not American to be an asshole, no matter what the politics are.