Reid About It

I went out to eat last week with Lovely Wife Kimberly and my parents. We went to a local bean and burger joint called "Daniel Boone's." It's the kind of place where everything on the menu is misspelled and although you can't be certain, you think it's on purpose.

Pretty much every dish there is fried or covered in gravy, or both. It's good eating for lunch, especially if your afternoon plans involve pulling a plow or laying railroad ties.

Anyway, once the meal was finished the waitress left the receipt and a pen to sign with.

The pen she dropped off at our table said "Viagra."

I was very confused. Was she doing some kind of endorsement, or was that a suggestion?

Now this restaurant does target older people and families, so maybe it's a natural product placement. Although come to think of it, usually after I finish eating there I'm so full of fried stuff and gravy that I'm much more likely to go take a nap than I am to get my swollen, belching freak on.

I wondered about that for hours. Did I somehow give her the impression I needed a little help? Was I supposed to be erect during the meal? Was she noticing?

I can't help but feel that if I had made some kind of remark during the meal about Viagra, whether positive or negative, I would have opened myself up to a serious harassment lawsuit.

I can see the headlines now...

"Weird TV Guy Tips Waitress With Pecker Jokes"
"Report: Rocket Reid's Randy Rod Riles Restaurant Reba"

I just ignored the pen. Who can afford bad press at a time like this?