Reid About It

It's apparently election time around here, judging from the fact that when I drove through my neighbor's yard on my way to my driveway late last night, I wound up pulling a couple of brightly colored signs out of my hubcaps. My new column at The Examiner is up, where I make my NFL picks for the week, make jokes about Snoop Dogg, and also throw down some thoughts on the election. Check it out here, comments always welcome on the site.

Happy Halloween to everyone. As always, I'd like to take this moment to make my annual plea to middle-aged guys everywhere.

Please. Stop dressing up as KISS every Halloween.

Seriously, guys. For the love of the Phantom of the Park, please stop. Even Gene Simmons can't pull that look off anymore. We yield to your Love Gun, just put on some khakis or something.

For you ladies, I'd like to salute you on your choices, since it seems that 90% of the costumes I see are simply slutty versions of regular professions. Slutty nurse, slutty secretary, slutty cop, sluttier hooker, etc. Nicely done.

To the folks in my neighborhood, I'd like to ask you where the line is for trick-or-treaters. When the kids are driving themselves to your house and carrying pillowcases for the loot, I think they're too old. Any time a teenager shows up at my door in some semblance of a costume that was applied in less than thirty seconds and demands candy, that's just extortion.

I'm cutting the lights off at seven and sitting in the dark eating candy, myself. Feel free to join me. I leave you with my favorite Halloween line, from my friend Jarrett.

"I went to a Halloween haunted house. They had Jimmy Fallon there doing standup. It was horrifying."