Jewel Denial
I had several other things I wanted to write about today, but I woke up consumed with something. Yesterday a song came on my car radio that I hadn't heard since it came out long ago.
Unfortunately, it was by Jewel.
For those of you who may not remember, Jewel was a pretty little former van-sleeping Alaskan singer whose trademark was writing the same kind of awful poetry normally embraced by creepy weird chicks with leghair who live in the dorms for all four years of college.
One if her songs came on, and I made the mistake of listening to it. Twice last night, I awoke in utter absolute feverish confusion, with her song in my mind.
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours they are my own
They're not yours they are my own
And I am never broken
But they're not yours they are my own
They're not yours they are my own
And I am never broken
What the Hell was she talking about?
Eh? "They're not yours they are my own"? Well, if it makes no sense, say it twice, that'll straighten everything up. Whose hands are you talking about? Was there a doubt as to which hands you were referring to at the end of your arms?
She goes on to refer to praying, and being God's eyes, hands, and mind. So they're God's hands?
No. They're still her hands. And she's pretty fervent about it, because she says the same thing eight times in the song.
"If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful"
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful"
Apparently, Jewel was truly inspired by the philosophical musings of Bobby McFerrin.
This was Jewel's last popular song, except for "Intuition", which I believe was actually a love song written about a razor.
We're missing a golden opportunity here, we should translate her poetry, and drop it into Iraq. If we can get an Arabic version of lines like "poverty stole your golden shoes," they'll be so confused, we can control the country without loss of life.
3 Comments:
Could be worse.
You could have that atrocious "Christmas in America" as your earworm du jour.
Um...Jewel fan here. If her lyrics often don't make sense I have assumed it's because they are so inspired and unearthly that I just don't get it.
And yes, I may be a creepy weird chick and yes, I may have not shaved my legs this week, but I ask you, who are you to judge???
;0)
Everytime I see or hear Jewel, I think of the SNL skit they did about her.
The winner of a radio contest was to spend a month or so in a cabin with her. The guy is all excited until he begins to realize that all of her songs sound ALOT alike.
She regales him (over and over) with her tales of sleeping in her car and how all the eskimo kids used to called her "yellow hair" and throw rocks at her.
In the end, she can't even remember what lyrics go with what melody. And the guy is begging to go home. I can totally relate. I'd rather hit myself in the head with a hammer than to have to listen to her whiney ass.
"love song to a razor?" Bahahahahahahahaha I LOVE that! I've definitely missed reading your blog, I'm gonna have to come back here more often.
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