Reid About It

To begin with, I was in the store the other day looking for a Birthday card, and I saw a shelf full of Thanksgiving Cards. Who the Hell needs a greeting card on Thanksgiving? What do they say?

-- "Thanks for cooking for me and letting me pass out on your couch in front of the Lions game."
-- "I'm not sure how we're related, but thanks for the free meal."
-- "Happy Day, because neither of us are Indians!"

Anyway, the Christmas season is already here. First week of November is a good enough time to start playing the Christmas carols, I suppose. Got to get all of that Christmas crap off of the shelves by December 19th, when we start putting out the Valentine's Day stuff.

In all honesty, I don't think you should be playing Christmas music in the time of the year where Mary wouldn't have even been pregnant with the baby Jesus yet, do you?

And although we all enjoy checking out the time other people take to staple shiny stuff to their houses, lets be honest. If you are proudly displaying your Christmas lights in early November, it's a dead giveaway that you never took them down last year, Chester. Wait until after Thanksgiving, and just play along and pretend.

Redone holiday Christmas music is the worst. It was cool for a short period of time, but now, come on. Do we really need to hear the next generation of "Behind The Music" subjects and "Surreal Life" housemates mangling "Oh Holy Night" and "Jingle Bell Rock"? There's no Christmas rap songs. There's a clear reason for that.

On a related note, many of the Ethiopian famine victims in the mid 80's are actually living better than the people who sang on Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas" song. I swear I saw an Ethiopian Relief Album for Bananarama the other day.