Irrelevant Tangents
You know, considering it's supposed to be his birthday, Jesus doesn't have a lot to do with Christmas. There's no pictures of him sledding, or skiing. He wore sandals, so he wouldn't have even had stockings to put out for Santa. He never even saw a snowman, for crying out loud.
Outback restaurant now serves chicken fried steak, as if you're going to spend the cash to go to a really nice restaurant and order the deep fried questionable cut of meat. Going to Outback and ordering the chicken fried steak is like going to McDonald's and ordering...the chicken fried steak.
I love going to the zoo, because not only is it fun, it's also usually inexpensive which means you'll run into lots of trashy white folks there looking for a low-income outing. Nothing sets the scene for a relaxing day of fun like an 18 year-old Federline-looking baggy-pants punk with his hat on sideways blowing cigarette smoke on a monkey.
There's a girl I know, we'll just call her J. J is the kind of girl you look at, and you just know that she's got a separate hand sanitizer for their hand sanitizer.
Rob Thomas is the musical equivalent of Jack In The Box tacos. It sounds like a good idea, and you might enjoy yourself during, but right after it's over, you think to yourself "What the Hell was that? What did I just do?"
There are always movies where somebody has an accident, and can see into the future. What about the other senses? Where is the guy who can wake up, and hear a massive car crash down on Broadway street coming up at noon? The blind man who can smell tonight's steak dinner at six o'clock in the morning? The savant who can taste death in the air?
3 Comments:
Eh-hem.
http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/media/DE_3986.jpg
Loving your blog, BTW.
Took some notes on the vasectomy entry...for my husband, not me. Well, for me. My perineum will thank you. Frozen peas over frozen corn? Gotchya.
And truly, amen on the figgy pudding rant. First of all...figgy pudding? I'm picturing mashed newtons and goat's milk. Second, it all makes Christ's Birthday smack suspiciously of Trick-or-Treat, Smell My Feet a.k.a. Satan's Birthday.
Again...digging your writing.
I miss Jack In A Box. Please come to Canada Jack .... You'd be great out here, eh?
I miss you too Reid ... this stuff is so funny. Thanks for making me smile. Michelle
Jozet, yes, frozen peas are a big help over frozen corn. Especially if you buy the wrong bag, and get it still on the cob. Ouch.
And MnM, hang in there. Jack will come north of the border one of these days. Honestly, I haven't been able to eat there since your story on how lousy all of that food is for us. That's where I learned that the Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger I loved was actually 2000 calories. And I used to eat it with fries, and a Coke, and occasionally ANOTHER Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger.
Somebody saved my life that night, and I think it was you.
Thanks to both of you guys for your comments!
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