Reid About It

New York has a law against childless adults hanging out in children's parks. I can understand the question of ticketing a single woman, but by that same token, I don't have a problem with the rule.

People who do cry foul, or discrimination, or whatever, just don't understand that not only do we need to protect our children, but it's just a sure sign of creepiness for adults to be hanging around kids' places.

Kids have parks, and monkey bars, and play gyms. Adults have no business being there.

Adults have nightclubs, bars, and strip clubs. Kids don't need to be there, either.

I've been in Barnes & Noble with Pup before, and adults will come back into the kids' section, sit down, and quite often begin having really adult conversations. Either we leave, or I just spill something on them.

You know, if you feel you can't adequately unfurl your burdens without plopping your big ass down in a tiny chair with a Disney character on it, you should probably hire a skycap to help you with all of that emotional baggage. There are plenty of full-size chairs in the rest of the store, you smelly bastards. Don't bring your reeking-of-smoke, just-stepped-out-of-a-twelve-step-program self back into the kids' section to talk about what you're doing, or who you're doing, or where you spent last night. When you lay your poor, tired, head down on the table, and it rests on a book featuring Babar, you're sitting in the wrong area.

By the way, how lucrative is being a 47-year old belly dancer? Just askin'.