Reid About It

I saw a news story this weekend on a new form of self-defense, where this trainer showed people how to beat up people with sticks.

I thought, "Cool." Beating up people with sticks seems like something that would be both beneficial to know, and exciting to do on the weekends. If I have to be concerned with self-defense, I really think that having a stick would be a tremendous asset. Unless the other guy has a bigger stick, I guess. There's some kind of metaphor for war in there, but I'm not going to go to the trouble to lay it out.

Anyway, they interviewed a guy who was a "Self-Defense Expert."
What a strange profession to have.

This guy is an expert in defending himself from attack. There's really no way to test that out safely, is there? Just knowing the martial arts isn't enough, because in karate competitions, you're supposed to be beating on each other. This is a guy who goes to work every single day in hopes that someone will attack him, just so he can defend himself and advance in his profession.

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Hello, darling! How was was your day at work?"

"It was awful. I walked around the docks all day with twenty dollar bills hanging out of my pockets, but I couldn't get anybody to take a swing at me."

"So sorry, dear. Would it help if I had the kids get their little league gear and try and pummel you with their bats again?"

"Baby...you're the greatest!"