Reid About It

CLINTON, MISSISSIPPI -- Not having much of a good time here across the mighty Mississip. Travelling here on business, I've been stationed at the motel that time forgot.

This is the TV in my room. This TV will not respond to either of the freshly-batteried remotes they have given me. I have given up because without the remote, I only get seven channels, none of which seems to be a network channel or ESPN. In fact, it seems like I only get the Weather Channel, The Shopping Network, and whatever the Hell channel shows reruns of "Dharma And Greg" constantly.

Here's the fine computer hutch/kitchen table/only place in the entire room to put anything down that's not the floor. There is a wireless network here, but it doesn't work. They told me there is an internet connection to hardwire a cable into in the room. you can see it in the corner behind it. In actuality, their purported "internet cable" is just a phone jack that's not hooked up to anything. As you can see, there's a screw halfway taken out of the wall, as if some previous marooned tenant had tried to claw a hole in the wall with his bare hands and dig his way to some kind of entertainment.

Mississippi's slogan is "It's Just Like Coming Home." I guess that's true if you live somewhere without TV or the internet, in which case you're still probably going out in your yard to take a crap.

Can't wait for the motel's continental breakfast tomorrow. Might be squirrel-on-a-stick.