Reid About It

Interesting news on the probable murderer front. Drew Peterson's girlfriend has moved in with him, friends and family say.

As a quick refresher course, Drew Peterson is the fifty-five year-old guy who is the sole suspect in the death of his current wife Stacy. His previous wife, his third if you're scoring at home, also died under mysterious circumstances that were later ruled a homicide.

This cat is just a winner from the word go, I tell you.

So now his current girlfriend, who is twenty-three years old and doesn't seem to watch much television or read the newspapers, is moving in with him.

If you marry Drew Peterson...no, let me change that. If you date Drew Peterson or see him socially in any way, chances are you will die. When Big Daddy Drew takes you out to eat, you might as well have all the red meat and cheese you like, and wash it down with vodka and cigarettes. Your odds of making it long enough to suffer from a long-simmering disease are pretty slim.

And furthermore, when you disappear somewhere to be eaten by sharks or piranha or gophers, or when you die in a random tragic accident around the house, don't expect us to mourn you. I'll go on record right now as saying it's a waste of tax dollars to dredge the water for you.

That's a marriage certificate that should come with a waiver.