Reid About It

Proud Texan Matthew McConaughey has had a baby. Good to know his shirtless legacy will continue unto the next generation. No word on a name yet, But I'm hoping for "Whatever Man McConaughey."

I just moved into a small place. It's an inefficiency apartment. I can tell because the bed is in the kitchen.

Why does The Rock, who made a living beating people with folding chairs, continue to be America's Disney Movie sweetheart? That's like making a cartoon crimefighting team with the voices of OJ, Robert Blake, and R Kelly.

You know you're in a bad restaurant when "BLT" is misspelled on the menu.

How many comedies will Dane Cook be in before he makes one that's watchable?

I feel certain that if Al Gore had been elected President, the United States would not have invaded Iraq. Unless, however, CIA intelligence reports indicated that Saddam Hussein had been spotted leaving all the lights on at the Imperial Palace.

I have no idea how to play backgammon. All my life, the board has been on the back of my checkers board, but no one has ever sat down and said "let's play!" It seems that we may have let all of the people who knew how to play backgammon pass on, without imparting their knowledge unto us. It's a quaint throwback to a forgotten time. Seeing someone playing backgammon is like seeing a kid running while rolling a tire with a stick, or seeing a guy wearing suspenders and a barrel.

Isn't describing something as "indescribable" actually being descriptive?

Is Dr. Phil the fattest guy ever to write a best-selling diet book?

Where the Hell is Sammy Hagar travelling from in "I Can't Drive 55" when he laments "it took me sixteen hours to get to LA"? San Diego? Salina, Kansas? Delaware? Without a proper perspective, the measurement is lost.