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Tonight's menu: Pop culture, served with razor-sharp tools. And probably a Coca-Cola.

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All Jacked Around

Longtime friends of mine know I regard modern country music with the same enthusiasm as groin pulls, the stomach flu, and one-man shows performed by Keanu Reeves. However, one example stands out so much, I'll cross party lines to discuss it.

The new "it girl" of country music is Gretchen Wilson, an unabashed cheap Wal-Mart slutty tart of a woman who stands for exactly the same kind of things that guys do, especially the guys who have great difficulty attracting women.

Her new song, "All Jacked Up," contains the kind of subtle imagery I haven't seen since mid-80's AC/DC. Here's my favorite line from the song.

"Oh my God, its 2 o'clock, I can't find my keys and my trucks locked/So I grabbed a tire tool and I broke my window, hurt my elbow got me in though"

I'd just like to point out that although this does cement Gretchen's reputation as a hard drinker, a late partier, and a general don't-give-a-damn badass, it doesn't do much for her resume as a thinker.

Now she can climb into her drafty truck and sit down on broken glass for a while and prove how tough she is, but she still can't go anywhere. She still doesn't have her keys.

Just pointing that out.

blogified by Reid @ 10/24/2005 11:09:00 PM 


Blogger CDR said...

Oh, you know she's totally going to hotwire that baby.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Reid said...

Yep, probably with her super-charged Wal-Mart hoochie.

1:26 AM  
Blogger slamtundra said...

What the hell is a super-charged Wal-Mart hoochie? Huh?

6:10 PM  
Blogger slamtundra said...

Oh, and Lunesta is approved for long term use, but of course don't use any medicines for an extended time without speaking with your doctor.

6:16 PM  
Blogger Reid said...

Lunesta is approved for longterm use, but have you noticed that one of the side effects is drowsiness? How are you supposed to tell? Isn't that what it's supposed to do?

And if you don't know what a "super-charged Wal Mart hoochie" is, I wish I were in your shoes. I've seen one, and it's not pleasant.

1:59 PM  

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