Reid About It

Some things are so unexpected. I stopped at the local gas station on the way to work. I park around the back when I go in to grab an Icee, and I always take a look at what they've left out there. I guess it's my spartan upbringing, but I always look at things like the empty plastic beverage boxes and see if there's something there I can use.

"Hmm, what's here for my pickings today? I guess those Coca-Cola crates would come in handy if I decide to go back to college in my 40s, and I need something to put my speakers on. Maybe one day I'll need a four-foot tall bread rack, and if I don't take it now, I'll always regret not having them."

It's just the way I grew up. I grew up poor, just like Jewel.

Anyway, as I walked by I noticed something even more out of the ordinary than usual. As you can see, someone had left their car bumper.

"Well, my bumper fell off. I guess I'll just leave it at the Gas-N-Go with the rest of the empties."

I'm no car expert, but I would tend to think a bumper would be something that
a) you would need, and
b) would be expensive to completely replace.

Try as I might, I can't think of any use I might have to take this thing. I guess I could take it to my office and mount it on the wall, a la some kind of urban hunting trophy.

"Yep, that's a twelve-point Buick. I killed that one on safari in Dallas. He charged me on Loop 635, and I had to drop him with my musket."

So if anybody happens to need a bumper, drop me an email. I know a place that's just giving them away.